Singaporeans live with a huge amount of stress. It’s a mixed cocktail of deprived sleep, living from paycheck to paycheck, dealing with people, and living in a competitive free-for-all working environment. It’s no wonder that 1 in 7 locals have experienced a major mental health disorder at least once in their lives. (study by IMH, 2o18).
A case study with 3 mental health markers
I knew a lady called Juicemin. (real name protected for her privacy, but it was spelled funny too. Parents with their naming sense nowadays…)
From personal observations of Juicemin, and from what people tell me about her, Juicemin is suffering from mental health issues, and could “become crazy” {in the sense that we know of ) if she does not take action soon. What’s wrong with Juicemin?
How about we start with a good point first? She is fulfilled in her work, and is the boss of her own company. This is nothing to scoff at, and it shows some level of competence. Now, what’s wrong?
Juicemin behaves poorly around everyone, and especially with family. Her own family and relatives shun her (1). She has no close friends lasting 5 years (2). In fact, it’s believed she has less than 5 friends of any sort. She’s not doing well in the field of romance, and has no intimate partner (3). She is abrasive and can raise her voice quite quickly in a discussion not intended to be a conflict. It is hard to talk to Juicemin, because of the way she sees her world – almost anyone could be an enemy. Obviously, she suffers from some chronic anxiety. She is not aware of it but her mad barking dog is annoying more than half of her team. Why didn’t they speak up? It is maybe not cowardice to keep quiet in order to keep your job.
Major Psychology Marker 1 – Family ties
How can you believe the world is peaceful if it’s chaotic even at home. In this case study, we have shown that Juicemin does not get along easy. Well, this is no excuse ; after all, you can control the words coming out of your own mouth.
Are you doing alright with your family? Try to make it as peaceful as possible. This is by no means easy, but everyone needs a psychological safe haven, especially after a long and trying day at work.
Major Psychology Marker 2 – Time-tested friendships
Juicemin has no friends lasting at least 3 consecutive years. No, the secondary school friend you had, and later bumped into, does not constitute a 20-year friendship. Like all important things, friendship has to be maintained month after month by mutual effort, a back and forth like a tennis game. In this aspect, Juicemin is doing poorly.
Most of us don’t like to confide in family. That is one reason why friends are important. Friends also whack you for doing stupid things, and help set you straight when you go down the wrong path. This is what Juicemin is lacking – friends who will be able to speak truth to you no matter what. This cannot be substituted by coworkers, especially if they are under your paycheck.
Major Psychology Marker 3 – An intimate partner
We all need affection and intimacy no matter who strong we may be. Someone to share our burden, fears, and most of all, happiness and achievements. An intimate partner is your own psychological Eden, where you may be you as you are and be happy with it, and happy with her/him. Psychology may not say outright that this is mandatory for a mental well-being, and it is listed as one of the key markers for good reason.
How could Juicemin fix her life?
Now all of this would just be a criticism of Juicemin if we did not say how she could turn her life around. Her only mental health pillar she’s got is that she has meaningful work. And of course, her little dog helps. But the core issues remain and they can be solved.
(1) She could see a doctor and ask for some drugs for her anxiety and depressive moods. These drugs are called Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). To name a few, the doctor could have given her Fluoxetine, Escitalopram, or Sertraline. If she takes it for a month, and start to be able to regulate her mood, maybe she can then start to mend her family ties. It is a good start to stop feeling like a minefield for a change.
(2) She could start seeing a clinical psychologist or a counselor to work through some of the deep-seated issues she has.
(3) She could stop behaving like an ass and start trying to be a good, decent person. A good person is capable of being a good friend and a good intimate partner. Here is a good question to ask yourself : would you want to be friends with you? If you treat people right, people will stay.
(4) Start mending relations with family, relatives and friends. And co-workers. Why go on the offense to people who should be your allies? Steps 1 and 2 outlined above should help tremendously with that. Step Zero : acknowledging that there is a problem in the first place. This is what I see as Juicemin’s only true obstacle.
(5) Stop complaining and over-reacting. Most of us has got enough troubles with someone else’s problems spilling over to us.
(6) Get her dog properly trained. Dogs are lovely little creatures when trained right. An untrained dog though, is just another pest.
It is my hope that Singaporeans can get every advantage they have, psychologically or by means of actual resources, to keep being winners in our own country. Old problems, especially those that can be fixed, albeit with some work, tie us down and keep us from being our best selves. Who needs an enemy when you keep tripping over yourself?
Take a good hard look at your life and see what is the next little step you can do to improve it. It helps you maintain a good mental health.
