Have you seen Jimmy?
There are articles suggesting that around 1-2% of any large population are psychopaths.(1) In a classroom of 40, 1 could be a psychopath. Simple arithmetic dictate you might meet one in your life. That is hard to imagine, and sadly, for me, I did not have to imagine at all – I had befriended one before.
Evil exists in this world. For this local guy, let’s call him Jimmy. Over 10 years, I have picked up some patterns in him that may apply to all psychopaths. You may spot these signs in a likely psychopath.
Lying, gaslighting and all-day smiles
Jimmy is a highly skilled liar, and without remorse. He lies about everything big and small, and would often talk people into believing that he is far more competent than he actually is. He told people that he came from a poor family; he looked like he never starved a day in his life.
Gaslighting is one of his best tricks. When you remind him of a mistake, he might say that it didn’t happen, you must be dreaming. He will also try to plant fake memories in you by modifying some aspects of an actual event in such a way you wondered if it actually happened, and you forgot about it. It takes some level of twisted cunning to pull it off. His purpose? To get the blame off him, and make you guilty.
He would be an excellent salesman or politician, and people would like him and his always-on smile. Like the messy cables behind a server, most people don’t see the real side of him.
Never taking responsibility for mistakes
If someone makes a mistake, Jimmy will go into rage mode. But once he makes one, then…well, who doesn’t? Suddenly, it is human to err. You know someone might be a psychopath if he does not sincerely admit his own mistakes. The fault always lie with someone else.
Justifying every bad behavior with good intentions
Jimmy will not admit his bad intentions. If he scolded you, it is for your own good. If he makes you shoulder the blame for his mistakes, it is to make you learn. If he puts you through unnecessary troubles, it is to toughen you up.
He once admitted that he beat his girlfriend, and seemed to be sorry about it. A week later, he said that is something that successful men do sometimes. Isn’t that a crazy justification?
He has read the Bible multiple times, and is even in a leadership position within a church. Yet, he missed the central idea of the Bible – to act like a decent human.
Behind every bad behavior, Jimmy thought he was right. Hitler also thought he was doing something right for the world.
The best move is to avoid engaging with them
Do not engage with a psychopath. Some of them are smart, like Jimmy, and will run mental circles around you and sap your energy. Do not lend them money – you will not get it back. Do not promise to go through any trouble for them, because they do not know gratitude. The best way is to avoid engaging with them. If you work with one, keep the interactions professional and do nothing outside your job scope. We can’t do anything about the existence of psychopaths, but we can choose our response to them.
Stay safe and strong. Never give in to evil.
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